YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
