I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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