pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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