On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
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