It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
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Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
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