Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
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