So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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