Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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