She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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