I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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