saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
are you so shy because you have an std?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
