All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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