Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
how drunk are you?
Several
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
