there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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