i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Dignity is for republicans.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
