i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
