these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
