He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
