Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I think a kid would responsible me up
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
