My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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