You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
