put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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