I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
