I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize