Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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