Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
