We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
