the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
