I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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