Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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