A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
