She went from zero to smokin in five shots
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Randomize
