I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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