super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
