i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
