Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
