I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
this hospital has no fireball
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
