Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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