We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
