is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
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