I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Two words: nipple clamps
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