He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
