So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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