I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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