you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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