Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
