She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
