I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
