i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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