Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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