We're facebook friends in real life
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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