she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
