Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
