It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
