The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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