K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
