Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
