My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
So much rum. So many feels.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Randomize
