Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
